Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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