If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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