we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
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I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
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I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
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