I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize