You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
