Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
