12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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