If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
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