I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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