You just made me feel so damn special
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
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