Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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