dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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