You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Randomize
