I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
BRING THE BAGELS
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize