It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
