I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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