Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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