i just google imaged poop.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
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