do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
