Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
