Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize