We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
please come you make the beer taste better
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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