Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
No subtext here. People are naked.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
