im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
