two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
