it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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