i think i have herpe
just one?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
