physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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