Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I think I sprained my soul last night
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
