Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
