I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
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