Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
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