Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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