I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
smell my finger.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
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When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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