Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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