If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
