There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
