Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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