This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
