I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
