Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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