So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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