if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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