Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
