he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize