before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
They are going to name an STD after you.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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