What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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