Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
