can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
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When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
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I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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