A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
