one word: firstdatebathroomanal
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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