There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
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We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
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you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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