her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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