Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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