I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
