Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
