how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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