But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
