You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
