I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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