it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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